ALL BOUT ME

Been workin lately and often get to drink til i die, yst has quite alot of customer. Ivan and mambo keep askin me to drink when they didnt even drink, idiot.. Chatted with boo, he goin to report in one weeks time hopefully nth will happen to him if not i not goin to talk to him AND HOPE U SEE THIS!!! I starting to lost my way of direction, i duno hw to move forward bt keep moving backwards. I really dun wanna feel all those hurts again.. Boo has been chatting with me lately this nite, he seems so cute laughing away all by himself when was jus watching animal planet, really admire him and i do really enjoy those chat with him, thanks darling =D As for him, he love his gf.. U say even u guys seperate we oso wont be gettin back together den why are we doing all this? why m i doin so much jus to get u back? Forget it, dun wana think bout why or wad or how, jus wan to move on happily with my lovely ones and dun ever tk me for granted =)

The promises...


Been busy lately, things happen tru and fro.. Heart been smash into pieces, using ur own eyes to see things dat u dont want, the world seems like cheating on u was a tragic to me.. Keep drinking to keep my heart down, to make myself much more happier but it jus dat whenever u were around, the more i drink, the more i see, the more i heard, i jus cried. I'm nt tryin to gain sympthy, but i jus couldnt help it. It was jus like one hand u sayin this and another hand you're doin dat, anyway, jus forget it ba as u said is she wan de.. Darling say he'll be thr no matter wad, so better dun make empty promises.. He taught me a new word when i'm disturbing with the word "BOO", den he say "BOO is still e same as Darling" HaHas, thanks teacher.. =D

MERRY XMAS =)

Merry christmas to everyone and to my darling.. U made ur promise on christmas day and u better keep the promise right down the road, tho we r nt legal bt he's great =D Celebrate xmas yst, totally nt on form when reaches boat quey as waiting for so long yet sit on those places tho couldnt say much bt at least when went over merllia thr i much more happy.. Was quite drunk yst bt still nt bad ba.. Goin to work le, Bye =)

I've shifted over to another pub, perhaps shifted le will be much more happier as those customers age gap is not very big. Fel has been workin with me yst, bt its was kind of bored when customers start comin in after 12? James, zhen guo, mingfei and guys came over.. So i knock off earlier, went over james place after dat.. Nth much to update =D

Jus put ur heart down for now...

Yst noon went over meet james, watch tv, slack and chatted.. I dunno those things dat u told me is true ma, bt i wish it is cos those words really make me happy. Thanks =D den down to abc have dinner with mun hon too, waited for zhen guo to fetch us go ktv... After dat eat and went queens club, den something happen.. Shall nt elaborate =) reach home have a warm bath and slp le, meetin guo and thong they all go catch prawn ltr ;) Jus to say im really happy to have u by my side only when we were alone together, i truly understand the situation u are goin now.. But at least let me stay by silently and watch u smile to me.. Suddenly thought of thomas, a guy whom are always so caring and good to gf.. Tho me and him already was a past, he's still the first guy whom make me feel e love frm his heart cos i've nvr feel a love frm any guys before bt my heart still belong to another.. Jus feel i own him too much, at least he got a good gf now =) everyone seems to be in love lately, whrs mine? He's so near, yet he's not mine.. Hahhas, boo~ Im happy jus for now =D

Yst was e last time to see popo tho she was in coffin, everyone cried includin korkor.. Andy was there too, when popo coffin gt burn everyone cried even louder esp mummy n ah yi they all. This was my first time to see all this, it really feel so sad that ur loves n close one leave.. I feel so stressful and tired lately, it look as tho im gettin weaker n weaker each day.. I do hope popo rest in peace as everyone had grown up and she need nt worried anymore and of cos we miss her.. This days started to think and realize, why bothered so much when u didnt even concern. I'm growing to become a lady, to think even more further.. I think i've to tk a break, no one knew wad i'm thinkin bout bt somehow i hope i'll be able to cope with the things now. Went to collect popo ash in the morning then to a place to placed her ash as well as pray da jiu and ah gong, den ah yi they all tell da jiu to take care of popo as she went to join them, when i heard all this my heart shattered it seems so brave of ah yi they all to say this without drippin and i knew ah gong n da jiu sure will look after popo..

She's jus so near...precious

How does a bitch or slut sounds? common? Hahas, Yeah.. I start to realize i'm of those, so wad if it jus a bitch or slut or perhaps plk, it jus fcukin havin sex with someone whom have a gf counted or jus havin sex all over the place? It was jus a games isnt, u either play finish go hm have a good slp or u can jus relax one corner and cry bout it. Play it and take it, it is okay i think, so wad if whole world thinks u r one of those, hahahs.. I know if i wanna play i have to take it, and i take it. I wont have to bothered bout whether u have gf or not, maybe if ur gf knew she'll jus gt so crazy over it but it is childish cos everyone is makin their own decision for themselves.. Maybe during popo death let me realize lots of thing, it's really scary to part with someone whom u seriously love bt those partin is jus live or death and i seriously think dat partin with gf or bf is jus so stupid. I put precious to death it's a thing dat i wont forgive myself, no matter hw long bt in either world she's jus so understandin, in both our heart it is jus so close to each other.. My life have been so, i'll just go along with it and i love her =)

DONT TELL ME U LOVE ME WHEN U DUN FEELS SO =D

Yst was over at his place when i woke up found out lots of misses call from mum, didnt expect much so i jus call back when i heard popo passed away. I know i was totally blur when i heard this bt due to all those thing they hav to wait to prepare for funeral n stuff liddat, so i watch finish "saw III" den i went hm and waited for daddy to drive me down. Went reaches everyone was there expect brother, chatted with cousin then i went over to see popo. She look like sleepin soundly, then my tears jus drip. Qin n elicia came over to look for me at nite, supposely still got ppl comin. Ended lots of prob so they didnt came, bt it okay ba =) I dunno wad we are, if really dats e way we choose to go i will jus go with it cos i really feel glad and happy tho at least we stil can ;)

at least i smiled

IN THIS GAMES EVERYONE LOSE!


Yesterday went clementi eat fish soup but e soup seems like nt as nice as before, then the four of us went to chevron sing n drink =D Actually wanted to play mahjong ended up at queens club play, over to amerllia thr de pub as munhon celebrate his birthday. Ben bought me a pig which i love lots bt all my bear only mashimaro its my fav cos it is big enough for me to punch, hahahs. Get to know yuting, elaine n tracy, munhon actually thought something would happen to me n them, bt pls i grow up le.. And why must we got problem? hahahs! Was kinda suprise to saw wendy, chatted with her and i wanted to see her again, cos it is actually so fated dat we only gt to see each other for two times n have so many thing to chat =) I was so drunk yesterday bt at least i stil make it home, i know i did n talk lots of funny funny thing yst hope i didnt offended anyone. I'm really really so tired, and still have to work ltr on im gonna collaspe someday for sure. Lastly, HAPPY SWEET 19TH MY FRIEND JASON CHEONG MUN HON =D

Wil thr be a day to return~


Yst was at plaza with yupei, chatted quite long den qin n elicia came. Went to queestown watch tv den mingfei n charlie came, mingfei fetch elicia home den came back went over to jurong east k box with charlie friends, ended n went to mac slack. Went over biao-sao place early in e morning without sleepin, n stilled have to meet charlie n kokkeong ltr on. =D

IT WAS JUS A LIE,A SIMPLE LIE

Munhon celebrating his birthday yesterday, have dinner with them and to clementi den chevron. Was having fun with my girls and ah ben came and of cos e asmosphere change for the better =D Cuttin cakes n playin around, when just suddenly someone told me bout tings i dun wish nor hope to hear. But its okay, jus feels dat thr nth to hide nor bluff cos im alr a girl with no hope. Chatted with ben, we r actually in e same plight, afterall i feel much happier. Was lookin for munhon, n he actually got drunk n have his hand cuts. Shall nt elaborate. After all took boon bike down AH look for them, den qin,mingfei,ben n me left to drink again. Found out dat i've lots of bruise all over, been sleepless this days i'm really really very tired. Woke up frm a sweet dream, its really sweet nvr ever hope to woke up frm this even i die cos this dream will nvr come true bt it is so so real jus when e moment i open my eyes i smile to myself cos im jus too naive. Huiwen have to grow n start moving on, she learn to saw things frm different view, she learn to smile n be friendly to everyone even to some ppl whom are nt. She started to learn bits by bits day by day, and she'll nvr be good nvr ever she gonna be. She believe she will get out of the darkness times somedays.

nvr goin to be good

LEAVE UR FOOTSTEPS BEHIND~

Coco didnt came yst, everything was normal. Have a very bad gastric when i was over bringin fel. Bt back to normal after a warm water n it came again today, hopefully fel can faster come. Got a very bad dream, anyway its really creepy and funny cos i dun tink anyone's dream will be so stupid like me. Hahas =D

~so i can follow silently

You just walk off without turning

It just happen too sudden, e sudden dat i cant even took a breath. The days we spent, e smile u often gives, e long warmth hugs, e finger bite and more, wil nvr be ther again. It always ended up havin someone hurts, and i know i shouldnt be treated this way when i'm already tryin so hard. I didnt started to learn hw to be strong n brave n it actually jus falls hard this ways, and i just couldnt accept e truth dat ur feelin would actually faded. Have a good burst, bt i dun tink its help. I've to gt up on my feet once again, to smile frm my heart. Jus hope everythin goes smoothly in ur life n definately i'll feel happy.

To my girls, you guys have been thr for me whenever im feelin so helpless, so depressed. We havent been playin a fool so much since long. I dunno hw to say out e words, bt really thanks. Loves*

Its really hurt deep down e heart to found out ur loves one been cheatin on u, e broken pieces of hearts wil nvr be mended. It feel likes everything going the wrong way, i'm afraid of being cheated from my darling sis, my precious bf n my friends. I do hope none of them cheated on me, i have nt learn to be strong like others, i have nt learn to be brave, im jus a girl whom have a soft heart. I'm tryin very hard to change, to learn, to forgive n forget bt i believe i'll jus fall hard one day n it'll be e day i lose everything.

I dun wanna fall hard, will thr be anyone understand me? I just feel so deep hurt, i duno e way to my journey wil be hw difficult, it really hurt.